I'm James Hall

A new home for my thoughts

April 27, 2020 10:12 pm

I recently crossed off 2 years of sobriety, and while that brings me much joy and a great sense of accomplishment, it’s also caused my anxiety to skyrocket.

I definitely used alcohol as a crutch to stave off my anxiety and it worked wonderfully, unfortunately. As my distance from alcohol grows larger, I’ve realized that my mind now tells me of all these weird types of “horrors” that could happen, no matter how outlandish. Let’s say I got a call from the power company telling me I was late on a payment. My brain would let this thought catastrophisize into even larger issues… “what if you go bankrupt? what if they put you in a lawsuit?”, it was never ending.

I started taking some medication which has helped me significantly in this regard, but I still found myself getting wound up and irritated of things that I couldn’t control. Where was this coming from? I started to do a mental health check and realized that most of my anxiety and stress came from places I thought I was getting refuge; Reddit and Twitter. Both sites are great sources of information, memes, laughter, but are also HUGE sources of bickering, disinformation, and hate.

I remember twitter in its early days being a place of experimentation, showcases, and all around general good time banter. I’m not sure when it started to change, but I noticed the changes with the introduction of threading, and the increase of the limit to text. I feel like people found it to be a spot where they could now write their manifestos and have the world listen, and agree with them.

It’s sad, but unfortunately understandable why these sites have turned to what they are. While they’re “free” for the user, they have to make money in some form or fashion, so they’ve made moves towards that. I used to be excited to go to twitter, reddit, hell even Facebook in hopes to see what’s new with my friends, but now it’s just retweets of retweets and reposts of memes from reddit.

So I’ve decided while I’ll still be on twitter, I’m going to post a lot of my thoughts and content here on my blog. I full own the content, it’s readily available, and you can still be updated, just follow my RSS feed.

I see a world where I might post small updates akin to tweets, or write longer form entries like this. Either way, if you have an RSS reader, you’ll hear from me!

Talk soon.